I was always looking for beauty, some outward mark of excellence, that I could identify with and copy in some way. Definitely physical beauty is the first trait all of us appear to need, whether it be looks or brains or both. Physical beauty is the quest of the ages. I looked for beauty in the people and places that surrounded me. I desired to be associated with beauty. In that way, I felt a quantity of it would rub off on me. I didn't feel I was pretty.
"Beauty surrounds us, but usually they must be walking in a garden to see it." The words of Rumi bring up a nice query. Is beauty something they see or is beauty something that they feel? My thoughts about what beauty is have changed over the last few years.
As Rumi pointed out beauty surrounds us, in fact, it is us. I didn't feel I was pretty, but I was searching in the wrong places to find the feeling. I wanted others to confirm my beauty and when they didn't, I accepted my lack of beauty. Believing that this power existed outside of me, that is where I Looked. I found everyone looking for the same thing. The thing all of us have, but have hidden in our illusion of duality. I could see it in the garden or a mountain or the sea, but it didn't appear to be part of me.
It appeared my idea of beauty changed as I changed, so that things that attracted me at point, were no longer the beauty I was seeking. I found that my experience of beauty changed as my thoughts about beauty changed. It was not a constant. Its shape, size, function and appeal changed with my thoughts. What is the definition of beauty anyway?
Beauty is feeling, as prayer is feeling. If I do know it is already present in everything, it is simple to experience, to express and become the thing I desire.
Now understanding that my thoughts generate my reality, my world, I can feel beauty all over the place, including within myself. I accept the fact I was created by beauty, so I am what my creator is. My thoughts feel beauty in my words, actions and accomplishments. I feel beauty in nature, in friends, in events, because that is what I think. It is my prayer. I see beauty in the contrast I face in life, for that is what I focus on. The beauty of growth from a situation that shows and express pain, brings understanding to all the contrasts I encounter.
My desire for beauty is inexorable, as my desire for love is never-ending. I need to know myself for who I am, so I can grow in to a grander version of beauty and love.
Hal Manogue is a poet and author of Short Sleeves A Book For Friends. Insightful thoughts for the 21st century. Hal's 2006 Collection and 2007 Collection are available in bookstores and online. Visit Hal's net site: http://www.shortsleeves.net or weblog: http://halmanogue.blogspot.com/ for more information about his work and life. Download a replica of the new E-Book, "Unite To Unite" a collection of articles from writer's around the globe that will inspire and fill you with useful information. It is value is priceless. It is Hal's gift to you, for you to enjoy.