An article by iVillage/AskMen.com, from their "Inside the Men's Locker Room" series (gag us with a jock strap), attempts to explain why men love casual relationships "and why you might too!" Except that the advice is about as reflective of real-life as Bush's "Mission Accomplished" banner. Let's break it down:
1. According to the dudes in the locker room, "Casual sex-only flings never end up [in a nasty split]; you may break up, but you do so with a wan 'oh well' grin rather than a 'God, I hate you' glare." Riiiiiight. Show us a booty caller who's never broken a heart and we'll show you our unicorn...
1. According to the dudes in the locker room, "Casual sex-only flings never end up [in a nasty split]; you may break up, but you do so with a wan 'oh well' grin rather than a 'God, I hate you' glare." Riiiiiight. Show us a booty caller who's never broken a heart and we'll show you our unicorn...
2. The dudes explain how to avoid leading on a commitment-bent woman: "Don't ever do anything that might hint at the possibility of something more. Meeting up for an evening shouldn't translate to a romantic dinner and dancing; it should remain firmly cemented in hitting the clubs, maybe catching a movie (it can't be a chick flick) and back to your place for yet another hot, silk-encased encounter. Gifts aren't completely out of the question, but we're talking about lingerie, not flowers and jewelry. Provided you maintain this style and pace throughout your adventures, any woman will get the picture very quickly, which works in your favor." Um, whatevs. Some of the best serious relationships we know were built on a foundation of dirty dancing, Friday night movies, gifts of lingerie, and "hot, silk-encased encounters." And we don't think those things exactly scream, "I'm also boinking half of the phone book" either.
3. The dudes pause to smoke crack and then go on: "Step right up on the first night (preferably) and say something like, 'I'm just terrible at relationships; it's probably best to keep things simple.' ... You may begin to gain a certain reputation amongst the female community. But on the other hand, maybe that's a beneficial slip; you'll be attracting just the right kind of woman. Eventually, provided you continue to frequent certain hot spots, you won't have to explain so often, and the appropriate woman will drop right into your lap." We certainly agree that it's gentlemanly to fess up to your casual intentions on the first night. But the idea that all you have to do is gain a reputation as a commitment-phobe, then hang around in the right places and wait for the booty calls to come to you? Yeah, she'll be riding in on a My Little Pony, playa.
4. Finally, the boys note, "One of the best ways to entice women is to embrace the persona of the classic 'mysterious, brooding' character, because this will send the very clear message that you nave no interest in opening the door into your life." Do you know why women dig "mysterious, brooding characters"? Because every woman dreams that she'll be the one who holds the magic key to unlock his cold, stony heart. She wants a cool rider who'll hang up his leathers just for her.
